Friday, September 23, 2011

Very Brave Man Jokes


(Brave can be replaced by “stupid” if your wife sees this)

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side. 

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care. 

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing  machine will probably never be able to support you. 

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of  those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sin
k.

Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. 

If your dog  is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at  the front door, who do you let  in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.