The New American Thanksgiving

If you are like most Americans, Thanksgiving was a day of overabundance.  Turkey, potatoes, cranberry sauce, and yams would decorate our tables.  I was curious as to exactly what Thanksgiving meant in Old America.  So I went to the expert on all subjects - Google

I found this definition:

thanks·giv·ing

noun /ˌTHaNGksˈgiviNG/ 

thanksgivings, plural
The expression of gratitude, esp. to God

- he offered prayers in thanksgiving for his safe arrival
- he described the service as a thanksgiving

(in North America) An annual national holiday marked by religious observances and a traditional meal including turkey. The holiday commemorates a harvest festival celebrated by the Pilgrims in 1621, and is held in the US on the fourth Thursday in November. A similar holiday is held in Canada, usually on the second Monday in October.

An interesting side note is that the American Indians mark this day as a 'Day of Mourning'

I had always thought of Thanksgiving as a time to be thankful for what you have.  I do not mean material items, I am talking about family, health and good times.  

We now live in the 'New America'

The New American Thanksgiving is of course different than pre-Obama era Thanksgivings.

In New America, it is all about surviving.  Watch this video taken at Walmart on Black Friday the day after Thanksgiving:

Here are the remains of the stampede:



So how is a New America occupier to survive such mayhem? After all, we want the free stuff and cheap products.  I did some research and found this video that gives some great advice.  Other great advice includes starting your list early.  If we read deeper into the subject according to Donna L. Montalbo its all about planning.  What would drive a new American to take advantage of this long Thanksgiving weekend.

I advocate owning a gun and learning how to use it.  Unfortunately it is still not acceptable to bring your gun to the store and use it to push your way to the deals.  The chances of getting any kind of deal on black Friday requires sleeping in line for days in front of the stores.  I feel that the New American is smarter and better prepared.

I have a better plan:

In my blog post 'Paying your bills in New America'  I talk about how to work the system to earn a living without really working.  Here is another opportunity to make some extra 'Holiday Cash'.  Get hurt in the stores by slipping on something or falling.  It requires some homework and perhaps some planning but in the end the pay off far out weighs the preparation effort.  Here is some great advice about proving your case.  Again if you read my post you understand that you will not really hurt yourself.  By claiming to hurt your back you should be able to milk the injury for as long as a year or more.  Just  as long as you moan and complain you will get a nice settlement.  Acting ability is key for this to really work.

There are some glitches in this plan.  All big box stores have cameras that monitor your every move in the store.  So you will need to practice the event of falling at home.  Practice makes perfect.  May I suggest that you try Acting School, not only can you learn the art of acting, you will also have the opportunity to apply for student loans which just add to your 'extra cash'.   It's all about how good of an actor you are.  Once you have the act perfected it is just a matter of finding that personal injury attorney and a savvy doctor.  Just as Ms. Montalbo points out, it is all about planning.

All that remains is to collect your payout and go shopping at your leisure.  No lines, no fights, no rush.  In fact you will be using the stores money to buy what you want.  All the while you can still legally collect your unemployment, food stamps and or workman's compensation payments.

In 'New America' the streets are paved with gold.  Nowhere else in the world are you given so much opportunity.  Will you answer the door if Opportunity knocks?