New years resolutions in the New America

I gave everyone my new years resolutions last year.  I must say I have been very successful.  Kept everything that I said I would keep.  Can you say the same.  Not if you are part of the 97%.  That is 97% of the people that create New years resolutions drop out after 30 days of trying.

Here in New America we do not need New Years resolutions.  Uncle Sam has already set our goals and ambitions for us.  So for everyone in New America (This means you) here are your new years resolutions:

1.  Earn less, pay more taxes.
2.  Plan a new Workman's comp claim.
3.  Plan and execute a new slip and fall routine for next Christmas season buying.
4.  Download as much free copyrighted material as possible using VPN services.
5.  Take the largest mortgage possible on my home.
6.  Earn unreported cash as often as possible
7.  Buy a gun and learn how to use it.

As New Americans, we need to stay focused on the goal.  Stay the course and achieve our goals.  With only 3% of those who try will actually achieve success.  We all have the drive deep down to accomplish anything we set our minds to, will you join me?